"Stop yelling at me!"

Sometimes I don't know what boils my blood until someone asks me a question, then the volume of my voice gradually increases until the questioner is like, "Calm down, Justine."
   "Sorry," I'd reply, "I didn't know this bothered me. Did you know? Is that why you asked?"

Now that I know whatever-it-is bothers me I can do something about it, but I have to admit: all that yelling I did didn't get anyone anywhere; well, except me, but that's selfish.

Why I equate an increased volume with clarification is beyond me; I need to change this assumption because I know the moment someone starts yelling at me I stop listening. I don't like being yelled at, and, frankly, in spite, I will stop listening.




Once, I told a student, "Look me in the eye!" and I immediately regretted it. Hadn't I learned never to command a student to do that? Why shouldn't I do that? Because it's belittling. It's like when my parents told me to look them in the eye, and I was like "Nope!" I don't remember why I demanded that particular student to look me in the eye, but I do remember that I apologized right after.

I once called another student a drama queen- I made him cry, and I apologized for that, too.




When I yell, I guess I feel a sensation of power over the one I'm yelling at. This sometimes is necessary, but I can't imagine why it would be necessary in a community of peers who are equal, not in age, or rank, but in situation because the moment any adolescent walks into the school building, he or she is made my equal. As a teacher, I don't fill empty jars (how many times do we need to hear that?); I hope, instead, that I am adding positive things to his or her collection of life experience and truths because I'm a human who just happens to have a degree- a sheet of paper (and loads of debt)- that my students don't have yet.

Yes, yes, I have a responsibility as an authority figure in that classroom to make sure my students are safe and comfortable, but I am not their dictator. I can't just yell and command things.

If I don't stand for yelling, and passive-aggressively ignore it, I can only imagine how other people who more active-aggressively might come to ignore it...to me--I don't need to foster this sort of negative environment, anywhere, ever.

If you are going to yell, make sure it's not at someone. And yell good stuff like, "Have a great day!" or something else cheesy. [: