Responsibility.

Dear God,
   Easter's just passed.
   A slight panic attack awoke me Easter Sunday, then I realized: it's Easter Sunday. My panic attack completely dissipated when I realized it was the official anniversary of your Resurrection. I would like to relieve myself of panic attacks more often than just the reminder of Easter. As cheesy as it is, Easter should affect my every day.
   I don't know that my life would be easier to deal with, or that I'd be happier. Maybe I'd make better decisions. Ask better questions. For instance, I suddenly realized instead of begging you to "pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease give me a job" I should ask, "Where do you want me to work?" Because I have applied and applied and applied (like millions of other wandering twentysomethings) and have worried endlessly about tomorrow, but even non-religious folk will tell you, "All you have is today. Now." Right? Look at the lilies of the fields. Are they not dressed more finely than King Solomon? Yes, indeed, and they pay no bills- perhaps only owned by they who do.
   I know I still have responsibilities to pay taxes, and bills, and gas, and, you know, nourishment, but I don't want these things to be a chore, or something to dread.
   I have no doubt, God, that you will provide. I ask that you provide sooner and faster, but still...all in your time, isn't it? All things in your time. I must still have something to learn during this waiting period. I guess, technically, it's not a waiting period because I have no idea of anticipating anything special. Besides, I'm sure that as soon as I get a job I'll start waiting for my own apartment or home.
   My list of wants just won't end.
   Anyway, God, I love you.