Sorry about yesterday,

You'll have to forgive me for my blog post yesterday--I wasn't in my right mind. I'd wanted my tone to be a little more solemn, not whacked-out-crazy, but apparently, that was not to be. I hadn't even remembered the most important lesson of my reaction to my sickness yesterday: I never again want to be in control of my breathing. Of all the things I am glad, and the things for which I am grateful, automatic breathing has become my favorite. It feels very good to be able to think about other things and breathing just sort of happens in the background; it is when I have to remember to breathe while I'm thinking that's tricky.

You see, what I'd wanted to post yesterday I shall have to post today: an encouraging note I found in the deep corners of my journal. This is what it reads:

Dear Magistra [Teacher] Triumpho (sic),

Thank you for always being there as a teacher and friend. You’ve helped me everytime (sic) I was down by either making me laugh, smile or look at the bright side. You make me understand who I am. Thanks, Love Naty.

When I first read her note to me I could not cry because I was too shocked and honored at receiving it; that and I thought it was adorable how she misspelled my last name- how phonetic. I did not know my actions meant more than I intended, so much so, that I helped a young lady understand her very identity. Indeed, I only thought I was helping her to conjugate Latin verbs.

I do wonder, though if the outcome would have been different if I did intend to help her understand her identity, and not how to conjugate Latin verbs. Eh, who's to say what could've happened--that, at this point (two years later), is irrelevant.

But her gratitude does then make me consider: if my positive actions can incur such humbling gratitude, what sort of impact do my negative actions in incur? Of course, that begs the question: is it a positive action to intend only to help in academia, and therefore a negative action if I intend to influence and develop her life outside of academia? Vice versa? But, frankly, no matter what my actions are it is only she that can determine her reaction. People can become good people in spite of poor parents and teachers. People can become bad people in spite of good parents and teachers.

Whatever.

I don't know, and couldn't give a damn.

Those are such petty questions when I should really keep in mind: I hope Natalie is doing all right. I do hope she has other teachers who help her build up her individual identity. I hope she is taking full advantage of whatever opportunities are coming her way. Make mistakes, Natalie.

Sitting Upon the Throne

When I think of my heroes, my idols, not many come to mind. I have many people I admire, many people whose traits, accomplishments and ideas I would love to mimic in order to make my own, but heroes? Those people are just...unnatural. They seem so beyond my reach. I am not a god, and I don't really aspire to be one, but all the people that would be worthy of the title 'hero' they're all gods.

I am not a god.

I'm not smart enough to be a god. I'm not physically fit enough. I'm not ambitious enough. (What else are heroes supposed to be?) Oh, I'm not that good with witty banter! Even if I did have super powers I don't even know that I'd be agile enough to want to practice them. I barely use the muscles (brain muscles, too) I have now which apparently have the potential to do awesome things!

Then I sat on the toilet.

Haha. I know. When I titled this blog post 'sitting on the throne' you probably weren't thinking of its slang definition.

So, I sat on the toilet and thought, "WAIT A SECOND!- all my heroes are human. All humans have to go potty. And if they don't go potty they're covering up their BM problem!"

If there is any time when a person is simultaneously physically and mentally vulnerable it would be when he is sitting upon the throne. I don't think I need to explain why. I hope I don't need to explain why.

I mean, think about it. All your heroes have to go to the bathroom.

Iron Man has to go to the bathroom.

The Hulk has to go to the bathroom.

Sherlock Holmes and John Watson have to go to the bathroom.

Aang had to go to the bathroom.

Do Thor and Loki have to go to the bathroom? Do actual gods have to go to the bathroom?

The Capitol forces themselves to go to the bathroom so they can just eat and drink more.

But who likes to think of heroes, or regular people for that matter, going to the bathroom? That's so nasty. And yet, we all go. What else do we all do?

What was it Watson told Sherlock? "People want to know you're human."

Because as great and different as our heroes are, they wouldn't be considered heroes if they're...followers?- couldn't relate to them. An un-relatable hero is a dictator. We don't like dictators. So, yeah, now that I know my heroes are as human as I am (except for Thor and Loki) I have to discover what they did differently from those who aren't heroes.

Oh. Heroes who often appear or give speeches full of hope, love, peace and happiness were probably without, or had at one point doubted, hope, love, peace, happiness only to have it thrust back into their faces. Heroes can be made. Heroes can be unmade. Heroes can be shy or obnoxious. They can be anyone.

'In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook." But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist can come from anywhere.' -from Disney's Ratatouille

Sit on that throne.

Spectator Sports

Have you ever just watched someone work?

No, not like group projects where one or two people do the work while the other three sit and gossip.

I mean have you ever watched someone work?

Have you ever watched street performers? You ever catch someone 'vandalizing' concrete, brick and mortar? Have you ever worked behind the scenes and watch the first time actors perform their lines aloud? Have you ever listened to someone practice their voice or piano lessons? Cello lessons? Ever watch someone compose music or write a book? Ever watch someone choreograph a ballet? Ever watch someone direct a movie, high or low budget? Have you ever watched a soccer player kick in the winning goal? Of course you have!

I enjoy watching people make things. I enjoy watching them bring things to life. I enjoy it especially when someone's hard work receives accolades. In fact, forget the accolades! I especially enjoy it when someone finishes their work, and sometimes that's all the accolades he might need. Finishing something feels just as good, if not better, than popular recognition.

Why?

Why what? Why do I enjoy watching people work? Well, I like watching other people enjoy life. I like watching delight grow on people's faces. I like knowing that I don't have to be a part of it because I might just ruin it. I like that other people want to inspire me. Well...not me personally, I mean 'me' like I'm part of the general crowd they want to inspire. We all want to inspire each other, some how, some way...

Even though we're all spectators, we're all invited to participate; we're even given the choice not to participate.

Not that the best work can't be done in private, but if you're given the privilege to watch genius at work I suggest you take it. You'll learn a lot. You don't always need to be doing something.

It's okay to sit, wait, listen and observe. Don't worry. One day people will watch you make stuff. Yeah, you'll inspire people. (You're probably inspiring people now, you just don't know it.)

So yeah!- you stop and smell those roses!

"I'm all ears!"

Communicating is hard work. Of course, all things that require reciprocity are hard work because everyone knows, from experience, that communication is listening and feedback. I can listen all I want, but you can only talk so much until you'd rather talk to a wall than to me. I can talk all I want, but you're not a wall!- you've got opinions too!

But this isn't always the case, sometimes people have different ways of communicating, and I don't mean that  one person prefers cuddling over home-cooked meals. No, really, I mean, consider this, my fellow geeks: does it bother you that some people will prefer the movie, as opposed to the book upon which its based?

I know that drives me mad.

Although I've learned that movies and books are two different medias. I will almost always prefer the media of a book, but a near-perfect example of appreciating both the movie and the book is Life of Pi. 

When the first advertisements for Life of Pi: The Movie were out I knew that regardless of its success or failure I was going to like this movie. Life of Pi: The Book is intensely descriptive, heavy with dialogue, and purposefully challenging. Life of Pi: The Book works for the very same reason Anna Karenina by Tolstoy works, for the same reason The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien works: because books can be of any length! 

But movies are generally limited to 1 1/2 to 3 hours in length. Any longer and most of the audience has lost interest and/or fallen asleep. (But trust me, I could watch a movie for that length of time and be fine.)

However much it bothers me that people can't appreciate the book-version as much as the movie-version, should it really bother me?

Even within the same medias, writers, directors, actors, etc. want to communicate with people outside their usual social group.

Christians/The religious want to convert non-believers/atheists.

Non-believers/atheists want to educate Christians/the religious.

Scientists want to instill sciencey-stuff into thespians.

Thespians want to convey powerful emotions to their audiences.

But, generally, Christians only reach Christians. Atheists only reach atheists. Scientists only reach scientists. Thespians only reach thespians. 

When a Christian, or an atheist, or a scientist, or a thespian writes a book, hoping that the book will help outsiders understand it doesn't usually work. I've worked at a bookstore long enough to know that people who are interested in business go only to the business section and nowhere else. I'd be hard-pressed to convince a customer interested in graphic novels to attempt a perusal into the local history section--frankly, it's just not what they're looking for.

I'd even be more hard-pressed to convince someone to read the Harry Potter books, if they only want to watch Harry Potter.

But frankly, some people are just more visual. 

So...how do writers communicate with movie-goers?

How do directors communicate with bookworms?

How do musicians communicate with scientists?

How do Christians communicate with the non-religious?

I don't know! 

But I'll try and be all ears for you!

I want to make more people read, but I'm only talking to people who already read. How can I communicate with non-readers?

Turn Life of Pi into a movie.

Sha-bam.