"Don't mind me if I burst."

Sometimes it is exhausting, all this caring business. Sometimes I wish I didn't care for anything at all. Sometimes I wish that I could be content as a lonely, griping old miser. When I say 'sometimes', I might mean 'all the time'. In the hardest parts of my heart I want nothing to do with problems because I, frankly, just don't like them, and want them to go away.

I also wish, to a certain extent, that I could be the one that makes those problems go away. Sometimes, I think, that by acknowledging the problem and attempting to solve the problem actually makes the problem worse. Godforbid I make anyone's problems worse- that would be unbearable.

And yet, I am no prophetess. Just as we cannot estimate the strength, and therefore damage, of a typhoon, so we cannot estimate the sort and amount of help that will come to those in greatest need.

I have no immediate family that was affected by the typhoon, and I've been a first-world citizen since birth. You know, I shouldn't care...but, I do.

Sometimes it is exhausting, all this caring business. Sometimes I wish I didn't care for anything at all. Sometimes I wish that I could be content as a lonely, griping old miser. But if I am to learn anything from trite hollers of "YOLO" and "Love life" and "Just do it"- just because we trivialize the profound does not make the profound any less profound- obviously the profound is accessible to any person: first-world, second-world, third-world, 3/4-world; Mars.

So, I will care as much as I can, and then attempt to care more.

Don't mind me if I burst.

That's what supposed to happen when you care.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."- from C.S. Lewis' The Four Loves (I'm pretty sure I quote this all the time.)

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition of conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” –Philippians 2.1-11 

Here's some of the disaster, compliments of Al Jazeera.

And, how to help? Well, this link is a great list of NGOs, compliments of the Huffington Post, or seriously, just Google it :P Maybe even start your own fundraiser, yeah?

God bless your endeavors.

Spectator Sports

Have you ever just watched someone work?

No, not like group projects where one or two people do the work while the other three sit and gossip.

I mean have you ever watched someone work?

Have you ever watched street performers? You ever catch someone 'vandalizing' concrete, brick and mortar? Have you ever worked behind the scenes and watch the first time actors perform their lines aloud? Have you ever listened to someone practice their voice or piano lessons? Cello lessons? Ever watch someone compose music or write a book? Ever watch someone choreograph a ballet? Ever watch someone direct a movie, high or low budget? Have you ever watched a soccer player kick in the winning goal? Of course you have!

I enjoy watching people make things. I enjoy watching them bring things to life. I enjoy it especially when someone's hard work receives accolades. In fact, forget the accolades! I especially enjoy it when someone finishes their work, and sometimes that's all the accolades he might need. Finishing something feels just as good, if not better, than popular recognition.

Why?

Why what? Why do I enjoy watching people work? Well, I like watching other people enjoy life. I like watching delight grow on people's faces. I like knowing that I don't have to be a part of it because I might just ruin it. I like that other people want to inspire me. Well...not me personally, I mean 'me' like I'm part of the general crowd they want to inspire. We all want to inspire each other, some how, some way...

Even though we're all spectators, we're all invited to participate; we're even given the choice not to participate.

Not that the best work can't be done in private, but if you're given the privilege to watch genius at work I suggest you take it. You'll learn a lot. You don't always need to be doing something.

It's okay to sit, wait, listen and observe. Don't worry. One day people will watch you make stuff. Yeah, you'll inspire people. (You're probably inspiring people now, you just don't know it.)

So yeah!- you stop and smell those roses!