Happy Thanksgiving!
I was just thinking about the things for which I am thankful when I realized, "I am a member of a church."
I am not surprised that I am a member of a church. I am not surprised that churches have members (I mean, like official members). I am, however, surprised that I am a member of a church (yes, the tone in which that statement is said differs a great deal from its non-tone twin).
Someone once described me as 'humbly jaded' because despite being jaded, I am open to new perspectives; in fact, I crave new perspectives, because I have hidden behind mine often enough to know what a- a donkey I can be.
Admittedly, I should not be so surprised to be a member of a church. I was a member of my previous church. But that's just it. My previous church, I'd attended since I was in kindergarten. I became a member at thirteen (right?) and only left earlier this year for publicly-undisclosed reasons (reasons which have been privately-disclosed among trusted ears).
Looking for a church these past, what, six-seven months (two of which were spent at a summer camp sans automobile), I found it difficult to belong because I have a complicated relationship with belonging.
Even before I was looking for a church, any time I visited one I was quick to judge it. Not for its theology, or for its lack of organ music, but for its appearance. It's physical, shallow appearance. Not because my home church was just so phenomenal--hardly. But I've always thought it odd how modern American churches insist community without, actually, you know, communing.
Now, I am not an expert on modern American churches. I haven't even read a David Platt book. Augh. But I have only visited American churches. I have neither the funds nor vehicles to visit churches outside of America...outside of the tri-state area.
Ferrealsies, though, what does it mean to greet and make new people feel welcome? How do I just accept them and make them feel a part of the community? Because I know when I'm a new person I don't really want you to greet me. I want you to let me sit back for a couple weeks and let me decide whether or not I want you to approach me. Approach me when I'm ready. When it's not my first day. When I have had a chance to swim through jades. When I've had a chance to stop judging you. When I've had a chance to settle in.
Maybe it's because I'm introverted.
I hear churches speak of community without reaching out to it. Or, reaching out to the immediate community.
Down the street from where I live there's a Mormon church which has never reached out to me or my household. A few miles away is a Presbyterian church which has never reached out to me. I am not suggesting these churches are not fulfilling what they purport to be their duty: I have visited neither and do not know the ministries in which they are involved. I am sure (or would like to be sure) that both reach out to their flock, and to the newcomers that do visit.
But what if, in certain cases, as a church, you can only reach out to those who choose to reach out to you? What I mean is, what if the American church isn't 'affecting' its closest neighbors because it has a skewed or exclusive perspective of 'international'. No, I know there are a bajillion blog posts written about helping at home before helping abroad. I've read those. I have been a part of those movements. I'm wondering if maybe that's not so bad.
Just because a church starts in a certain area with the intent to help that certain area because that's God's thing doesn't mean that will happen. What if when I visit a church, like when I meet a person on the street, I was only meant to visit once, and my not coming back is not a tragedy, but a blessing.
I am choosing to attend and be a member of a church that is fifteen minutes away, instead of one that is five minutes away. Am I the only one that thinks this is funny? Nothing is wrong with the church that's five minutes away, but where did I feel I could best serve; where did I feel most welcome, most safe? Fifteen minutes away- a church I'd never heard of before.
Is their lack of publicity and my lack of acknowledging its existence a problem?
No, but I think too often modern American churches make it a problem because we don't understand that, as a church, we can only reach out to so many people in a certain area. We can only positively (or negatively) impact a community as much as it is willing to allow impact.
Perhaps the church five minutes away from me is consistently positively impacting a community thirty minutes away- a community it didn't expect to impact.
And now, as an official member (I have a fancy certificate and everything) will I be okay with that? Will I be able to participate in that? Will I add or detract from my new home church. Will I be brave enough to say 'hello' to the veteran members? Will I now say 'hello' to new members who, too, might be humbly jaded?
Churches may intend to affect their immediate surrounding area, but sometimes, that just isn't what God has in mind. I live fifteen minutes away from my church's surrounding area (that may not seem like very far away, but to some it is)- I can't imagine I was part of my church's plan. But then, that's the beauty of it all, right?
So, I'm a member of a church who's intentions, though stated clearly, are subject to divine intervention. Excuse me, I have to go figure out what that really means. If you want to see what I make of church membership, look out for Parts 02, 03, 04- maybe Parts determined indefinite.
Holla.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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| modern, right? ehehe, |
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