From Ideas to Stories

Lately, I've been thinking a lot of ideas. A lot.

A few weeks ago, July 4th actually, I was with friends out in Chelsea, and jotted this down on my iPhone: "I like thinking many ideas, but I don't know that I'd put many of them into practice, or sincerely believe in those thoughts/ideas. I think of too many [ideas] to indiscriminately accept all of them [as Truth]."

So, I've had all these ideas, but I've yet to bring them to light. Mostly because I don't know how to bring them to light. My ideas are incomplete, and the only way to make them complete, or somewhere near completion, I would have to write them down, or speak them aloud. I hate doing that. I hate speaking before I'm really sure of what I mean; what I really believe.

Of what have I been thinking?

For starters, beginning sentences with prepositions is a great grammar-release!

Okay, okay, okay.

My thoughts have generally leaned towards the state of humanity.

"Oh, how perfectly vague."

"I know."

But if I become any more specific I promise you, I will go back to the state of humanity, which I am sure, as we all observe, is in a constant state of flux and discontent. Those who are content are so because they know what it is to be discontent.

Hello, Humanity. I'm glad to greet you like an old friend.

But since I don't want to overthink, or rethink, or drag on for too long, I've decided it best to illustrate any ideas or thoughts I have with stories. I don't know why it took me so long to acknowledge this. Every other author and writer has!

Whatever made me think I was better at writing essays than writing vignettes or extended metaphors?

Of all that I've thought this past month I am confident in that idea: that the best way to portray the 'state of humanity' is to illustrate it. To gather up its many images, smells, tastes, words, and feelings, not into some neat little box and leave it there, but for the neat little box to be opened!

Like Pandora's box! But without all the sickness and sin, and horrible things--they're already in the world. Ooh, we don't need more of that.

I know that we learn from our mistakes both in and out of our control, but that does not make me wish bad times upon even the worst of my enemies, and even then, I have no enemies. I live life as though all were friends: yes, it is denial, and yet confirmation that these friends, like my thoughts, though I entertain them, are no less real, or lost, or hungry, or wishful, than I am.

I may not re-open Pandora's Box, but I'll label it for you.

Spring Forward

Regret and worry are very funny emotions. They like to keep a person busy but completely unproductive. The only things regret and worry produce are heart attacks, sleeplessness and indigestion.

Regret and worry like to make themselves, not only present, but very necessary. But since when've we humans ever considered heart attacks, sleeplessness and indigestion necessary?! If anything, they are great nuisances!

However, that does not make regret and worry any less absent from our lives--regret and worry are very good at disguising themselves as caution and love. 

Caution is fine! When it is used wisely: discernment. Unwisely? Fear.

Love is better! When given wisely: kindness, adoration, gratitude; things of the like. Unwisely? Infatuation.

We so easily justify our maniacal cautiousness and oppressive love. I so easily justify myself...

A couple nights ago I accidentally deleted both of my blogs.

"Accidentally?" you ask.

"Yes," I reply. "Very accidentally."

By deleting an e-mail account I unintentionally deleted the blogs. So upon deciding to alter a blog entry I discovered their premature nonexistence. My heart nearly stopped. I almost screamed. I sobbed, but immediately felt at ease. 

A very strange easiness.

I was oddly comforted by the fact that God knew this would happen and humanly speaking (although I know no other way to speak) that is a provocative statement in itself: You're okay- at ease with God's knowledge? Why didn't he-?

No. 

I am incredibly eased by God's foreknowledge.

I lost both of my blogs, one of which I'd had going for the better half of three years, but an hour after such a loss I made a new blog: this one. 

Whatever readers I did have, I need not worry how poorly they'll think of me. I also need not regret any of my lost entries. My thoughts are still mine, digital or mental. 

And besides, what a perfect time to start fresh! To spring forward!

No, I have no idea what it's like to worry about my next meal, or where I might sleep tonight.

I have no idea what it's like to be any criminal's hostage.

No idea what it's like to search for a kidnapped child.

But my God is King over all the earth.

If you'd suggest to me that the kind of people above have greater reason to worry or regret I would agree with you. But I've also known, or at least heard, of people who were made stronger by these situations. Who always understood that regret and worry, while inevitable, could be controlled. 

We need only move forward.

My life is much bigger than two blogs. 

Our lives are much bigger than our regrets and worries; we can triumph them without God, yes?- so how much more triumphant can we be with God?

Psalm 47.2--For the LORD, the Most High, is to be feared,a great king over all the earth.

Good morning [: