Expose vs. Educate

I am not a parent, and some professionals might not yet consider me a teacher, although my B.S. in Education might want to boast otherwise (you'll note the 'B.S.'). Anyway, anyway...




For doctors, the worst patients are doctors- the same can be said for teachers: for teachers, the worst parents are teachers. Since I am not either, and have not had the joy of hosting a parent/teacher meeting I have had it in my head that parents (employed as teachers, doctors, or rock stars) are a teacher's worst nightmare. This was never expressly said- generally, I assumed it common knowledge because, well, that was where most of the horror stories about school came from. The funny stories were about students.

But I have learned a new empathy this recent incident because, you see, I don't know how to deny the most curious of eyes who often mirror my own eyes.




My whole life, I have worked to build a filter between my mind and mouth- I think everyone should, and we'll collectively label it DISCERNMENT because knowledge is power, yes, yes, and more yes- of course it is, but 'power'? What kind of 'power' do we talk about when we say 'knowledge is power'?

The best teachers don't just divulge information--teachers aren't the main source of knowledge, hardly--but the best teachers direct where and how to find information- at least in my experience that's what the best teachers do (they also make me laugh, but that's not an academic requirement, not yet). If I want to be the best teacher for my students, and I have the earnest, sincere desire to direct my students; to guide them; to help them; etc., then I also have the responsibility, to a certain extent, 'to keep them safe'.

Now, experience is a good teacher, truly- some lessons can only be learned through experience, but that does not dictate all the other lessons that are better learnt secondhand whether by reading/research, lecture; interviews, but here I've found a thin line: to expose vs. to educate. When you look beyond the line into either side, the two are intertwined, but they are still two different things, otherwise they wouldn't be intertwined, but one blended mush.

I am all about teaching every child about sympathy/empathy, charity/friendship, tolerance, beauty, science/experimentation, culture, materials; etc., but never at the cost of what little innocence every child has. (Perhaps 'innocence' isn't the right word, but 'ignorance' implies too much willfulness.) It may not be the best time to teach kindergartners and first graders about the Holocaust in a casual, after school setting when I have limited time and no prior planning...unfortunately, I needed to experience that lesson.

It may not be the best to put let little Susie prepare dinner all by her little self when she has yet learned how to turn the knobs on the stove.

Each in his or her own time, and frankly, I will not always have the opportunity to decide when the student's 'time' has come to finally know about -inserttopicofinteresthere-. I can speak with utmost clarity and there is still a chance someone misheard me- that is not good enough reason to stop teaching/exposing/educating, but it is good enough reason to examine the individual needs of every student. If so-and-so misunderstood, what can I do to help so-and-so understand? 

Knowledge is totally power. All over that, but wisdom is unparalleled- I need more caregivers than dictators.




So, what new empathy did I breach? This student is someone's child. In my situation, I only have that child for a two to three hours. I don't have to reap the immediate effects of what I've taught, but his or her parents do. Sometimes, I have to unlearn things- that's harder than having to learn something in the first place. When a student is going to hear about the tragedies of this world I hope he or she never learns of its beauties.

• If I had a kid and were somehow able to a fly on the wall in my own classroom, would I be pleased with my own conduct as a teacher? 
• Would I want that particular sort of information expressed in that way? 
• Did I need to be sarcastic there? 
• Should I have worded the question differently? 

These questions don't really have an answer because every situation is different, but never will discernment go out of style.

You'll always need to put broken bones in a cast (unless you have Madame Pomfrey on speed dial), but students aren't bones, and if they break I despise he who says there's only one solution.

Ask Me Something.

As a twentysomething, there are two questions I cannot avoid: (1) What's on your face? (2) Do you have a boyfriend?





Children will ask anything. Anything. They will say anything, do anything- anything. They're children, the only limits they recognize are cookies on the very top shelf and, trust me, children are intuitive and innovative- they will find a way up to that top shelf. You read Calvin and Hobbes!

So, I got a new teaching job (I use the term 'teaching' loosely) where all the students are allowed to call their teachers by their first names. This, of course, relaxes the teacher-student relationship. In some ways this is no different than students calling their teachers by their last name, especially if they are not used to the former version (the students I instruct are in Kindergarten, and 1st grade)- when you are used to one way of life, any other way is odd, yes? Yes. So, I don't hear, "Miss. Triunfo, why-?" I hear >>

"Justine? What's on your face?" (It's like I'm talking to a peer.)

"Acne. Sometimes when you grow up you get...you know, I don't actually really know what acne is."

"It looks like chicken pox."

"It's not red enough for chicken pox."

"...BURGUNDY!"

"Are you getting married?"

"No. I don't have a fiance. In fact, I'd have to have a boyfriend in order to even have a fiance."

"If you had a fiance would you marry him?"

"That's the idea of a fiance."





Now, when children become adults their questions about my complexion and romantic life are subtle, if not passive aggressive. I may not be socially graceful, but I'm pretty aware of when someone wants to offer beauty advice- it's in their eyes (is it not always?)- because it's an imitation of my dermatologist's look and tone: matteroffact and concerned. "Aren't you self-conscious?" / "More than you know."





I understand the importance of aesthetics and rules and blah blah blah. I do. I get it. Yay. My understanding, however, does not tend to override my emotional stability, if anything, it's the other way around. (Don't ask me if I'm self-conscious. Who, on this Godforsaken planet, isn't self-conscious?!)

When I am asked questions about my complexion and romantic life I only allow myself to answer as directly as I possibly can. Frankly, why can't you ask me, "Oh, have you read anything interesting lately?" / "Do you enjoy cooking?" / "Can you help me with my math homework?" / "What's the meaning of life?" / "Do you want to build a snowman?" / "HOW DID SHERLOCK SURVIVE?"

I am not incredibly smart, and I don't do many interesting things but honestly, so I can't imagine why you want to talk to me in the first place, so it boggles my mind even more than when you do talk to me you assume, "So? Anyone special?" is an okay question.

This is not entirely your fault. I guess that question bothers me in the same way it bothers tributes that everyone focuses on Katniss' love interest. You're kidding me, right? Can we think of nothing else? Are we really that hormonal?

Sorry, now I'm ranting.

Long story short: never grow up.

Glorified Tourists

I don't know much about where I live. At least, not all the little details. 

Me: Oh, and these are Brownstones!

Friend: Oh, what are they made out of?

Me: ...brown stones? Haha, I'm sure they're not all brown-colored. You can paint over stones.

But the little I do know seemed to suffice for our adventure last Saturday. That and our smartphones are embedded with GPS systems [:

Walking around the city, any city, you will always overhear conversations, and encounter strangers, find new holes-in-the-wall (or another Starbucks) especially when you're willing to get lost. There's nothing more enjoyable than walking about aimlessly, your only goal to enjoy the company you're with. What else do you need?

"Food."

Oh, well, that's a given! Good food always comes with good friends!

Now, if you find it necessary you'll have to forgive me for this next bit: I always forget that every adult used to be a child. 

How did I come to this thought?

Walking around the city, any city, you will always overhear conversations, and encounter strangers, find new holes-in-the-wall (or another Starbucks), and if you're not careful you'll forget that these conversations, strangers and holes-in-the-wall are someone else's familiar scene.  

It was really the strangers that struck me. They all were, at one point or another, an adorable baby learning to walk, to talk, to feed himself. I never forget that every child will become an adult. I forget that every adult used to be a child.

What's stopped our childlikeness?

Have we forgotten what it is to fly?

Have these city walls worn us down so that their previous glamour is now moldy and damp?

But the strangers I encountered: the homeless, the immigrants, emigrants; the tourists (not very much unlike me), the artists, the students, the runners; the commuters (everyone) they all wore expressions that I couldn't label for you. They stood there, alone or with a couple others, mostly with headphones on, stuck in their individual worlds; going about their day.

Were they as methodical as children?

Sometimes, I think everyone needs to be a tourist in their own hometown just so they can encounter some of the local mysticism, historicity: so that everyone can remember what it was like and, hopefully, be more grateful, for the privileges they now have. 

Yes, we all want to be remembered, but do we remember anyone?

I wish I knew more about Harlem's Brownstones. Well, then, I'll study up on them! That way the next time you follow me around I won't be a glorified tourist

glorified tourist definition :: one who resides in, but knows little to nothing about, tourist hot spots

(the term 'glorified' may also describe babysitters, cooks, etc.; any person who is familiar with, but not an expert in, said profession or   category)

I'll be your legitimate tour guide.

I imagine that if I know more about the area, more about its history and mysticism, I'll be more apt to remember its residents: rich and poor. These are my neighbors, after all. Don't I want to know my neighbors?

I could wander anywhere if you let me, and if you didn't mind my disappearing for a few hours because I promise you I will disappear if you don't wander with me. I may or may not find my way back to you, but whether I find you or don't I hope it won't bother you if I don't find you.